Hey it could be worse. At least your female and Jewish. As I say on my picture caption, I am White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Male Heterosexual cisgendered over-educated able-bodied affluent and thin. I'm also tall, which according to Peter Dinklage creates its own special privileges that I never noticed until he pointed them out. In fact, I found out recently that I am only 1 inch and few pounds away from the size of standard crash test dummy, which means that all cars are designed to be a safe as possible for someone who is exactly my size. I'm supposedly part of the cabal that runs everything for my benefit, although I keep not being invited to the meetings where the acts of oppression are codified. The only way I am marginalized is that I am left handed and old.
I often feel the same way you describe here when I interact with marginalized people. But I keep it to myself most of the time, because in a space like this, nobody cares about my pain, nor should that they. This kind of anger against privileged people isn't fair. We can't help being born privileged, nor do we have any obligation to renounce what privilege we have. We just have to remember that privilege is by definition not something we earned, and therefore we shouldn't pat ourselves on the back for having it.
But just because something isn’t fair doesn’t mean that it’s a big deal that it isn’t fair. Marginalized people have suffered a lot more than we have, and their suffering will make them lash out unfairly sometimes. If that’s more than you can take sometimes, then take a break from spaces like this. It’s a lot easier for us to avoid this kind of thing than it is for BIPOC to avoid racism.
I talk more about this here https://medium.com/@teedrockwell/so-called-reverse-racism-is-a-thing-78e301be65fe
Of course, as a woman, you're still going to have to deal with sexism, so I do have an advantage over you here. And it is good for the soul to vent occasionally, so go for it. The person who said you're not the right kind of feminist since the suit was based on your experience is an idiot. They probably feel you should be writing abstract essays about capitalism, which no one will read but a few friends ( who will insist you are a white supremacist because you disagree with them on a few minor points that no one else will understand.) All real social change happens because of concrete people dealing with concrete problems. That's what you did, and I salute you for that.