I think the fundamental difference between the N-word and “slave” demonstrates the point I am trying to make. Those who reject the word “slave” do so because they thought about the meaning of the word itself, and decided it was objectionable because of certain implications from that meaning. If you try to apply that criterion to the N-word, you come up with a complete blank. The N-word is just an ignorant mispronunciation of what was once the polite preferred way to refer to African-Americans. There are some people who claim the process went the other way and that the N-word is a euphemized version of the outdated polite word. But whichever of these stories is true makes no difference to the word’s offensiveness. The offensiveness derives not from the word’s meaning but from who said the word, and what they were doing to black people when they said it.
That’s why I think your analysis of “slave” misses the most important point. The question is not what kind of possible meanings a few intellectuals can tease out of the word if they think about it carefully enough. The question is: Before these discussions, was there a significant number of black people who heard the word “slave” and flinched, either consciously or subconsciously, because they sensed something like the demeaning implications you are describing here. I believe that the answer to that question is “no”.
I don’t doubt that there are now some black people who have heard this distinction who are flinching. But I think that’s because this discussion created this emotional reaction, it did not discover it. I think the last thing black people need right now is to cultivate new emotional wounds to add to the already heavy burdens they are forced to endure. I call the creation of these new wounds “Trigger Creep”, and I think looking for new words to ban makes that problem get worse and worse. I discuss this further in this paper.
https://teedrockwell.medium.com/the-fall-and-rise-of-forbidden-language-bb0a27152b09
There are lots of things white people say and do which the majority of black people rightly find offensive. Traditionally, rudeness has been defined as whatever offends privileged people, and now that definition has rightly been expanded to include whatever offends marginalized people as well. The time has come (and long overdue) for marginalized people to let us know about those words and behavior so we privileged people can learn to stop causing so much pain. This will require some work by privileged people, but far less work than marginalized people had to do when learning to adjust to the society of privileged people.
But while trying to develop a society free of micro-aggressions, we need to ask ourselves: are we uncovering old wounds that need to heal in the sunlight, or are we creating new wounds that never existed before we started thinking about this?
That’s a question that only each individual black person can answer for themselves. As I have no direct access to the experience of being black, The only thing I can do is to read and listen to a lot of black people discuss these issues and see if there is a consensus that justifies some sort of action or conclusion on my part.
For example, I used to think that the complaints about having to study Huckleberry Finn in high school were misguided, because the book is so obviously anti-racist. After reading several black writers, I realized that the book’s literary merit was not the point. It’s use of the N-word caused great suffering, which made it unsuitable for public schools. I came to a similar conclusion about various behaviors labeled micro-aggressions, which I no longer do because various black writers were able to show me how offensive they were.
These conclusions, however, were based on the fact that so many black people agreed about this. We can’t design the rules of courtesy so that no one will ever be offended by anything. If one or two black people, or gays, or Native Americans, say they are offended by a word or behavior, and everybody else in that marginalized group are OK with it, I think you have to say to the offendees “Sorry you feel that way, and yes I know that’s not an apology, but the rest of us are not going to change. If this still bothers you, you need to get therapy.” In many, perhaps most, cases, the sensitivity of these individuals probably emerged because they were exposed to horrendous racism sexism etc. But any system of manners that tries to protect everyone from offense is going to be hopelessly repressive to everyone, and no one will benefit from it. It’s often interesting and thought provoking to uncover different ways in which our language and behavior preserves references to past injustices. But I don’t think it will increase either justice or happiness to turn all of these discoveries into a system of taboos. I think we are in the process of creating something like a new system of taboos, and that is probably a good thing. But those taboos shouldn’t include things that very few people (or nobody at all) are actually offended by.
I don’t claim that this is the last word on the topic, and I appreciate the care and thoughtfulness in your reply. We have managed to disagree respectfully with each other, and that is a rare and precious thing in this time. One question I don’t answer is “how do we decide what most black people find offensive?” I don’t rely on public opinion polls. I just read a lot of different black writers, especially on medium. This is sort of like relying on voters to decide what the people want, even though most people don’t vote. But it’s also different because I also rely more on the people who are good writers. That includes you, of course, as well as Rebecca Stevens, Super Mrs. C., Andrea Coleman, Jeremy Helligar. G Correia. ,Steve QJ, Thomas St Thomas, and Jaron Mays. If you know any of these writers, you know that they are definitely not a monolith. I assume that if most of them agree that a particular action is racist or offensive, there probably is something like a consensus on this point. But I don’t need a consensus if any one writer is skillful enough to walk me through some part of their life and briefly experience the racism myself. Those writers often make me think “Wow, I have done things like that, and I’m sure never going to do that again”. That kind of experience is much more effective at changing my mind than hearing an argument or a set of rules. I think ultimately it is stories, and not rules, that will become the basis for this revolution in courtesy. That is the main point of this essay of mine.
https://teedrockwell.medium.com/the-woke-revolution-in-moral-habits-5a9694abc46f
