I was born in December and my wife was born six months later in May of the next year. So we are literally, but not metaphorically, and therefore not really, a May/December marriage. Generally the real, metaphorical May/December marriages I have known have not worked out too well, at least when December is the man. There are so many social cues and habits that keep men dominant in our society that it is pretty difficult for an older woman to squash a younger man. But when a woman falls in love with an older man, she is usually drawn to the man’s skill and wisdom, because she wants to learn those skills herself. Unfortunately, the Magus and the Lover are archetypes that don’t mix well, and the woman usually ends up giving up her career so she can have his babies and wash his socks.

On the other hand, I do know of one case that turned out pretty much this way, and it was clearly all for the best. Mary Johnson Khan used to be a tabla player until she married the Great Indian Sarod player Ali Akbar Khan. She doesn’t perform in concerts, but played tablas and other instruments at home with her two sons Manik and Alam. They grew up to be superb Sarod Players. Now that Ali Akbar Khan has passed on, the two sons teach at the Ali Akbar college of music, and she has become the matriarch who supervises the preservation and dissemination of Ali Akbar’s musical legacy. Sometimes losing yourself in somebody else is worthwhile, if the Somebody Else is an artistic genius. (I mention Mary’s work on this project here, but you’ll have to buy the book to get the whole story)

https://teedrockwell.medium.com/mourning-and-rebirth-934d24a70676

All of this supports your main point. Don’t make snap judgments about a relationship based on age differences. The world is too complicated for that.