Maybe I’m clueless here, but I’d really like to reduce this to something very straightforward. One guy said something that another guy didn’t like. The second guy punched the first guy. A policeman, a bartender, or a friend goes up to the two of them and tells them to knock it off. They all shake hands, apologize and forget the whole thing. This happens thousands of times every day all over the world. Sometimes the puncher pays a fine or does community service. Sometimes the punchee forgives the puncher and they get drunk together. This interaction between Mr. Rock and Mr Smith is no more and no less of a big deal than any of the other times.

The only thing that really bothers me is that people think that what Will Smith did was justifiable, even praiseworthy. What he did was forgivable. It's not forgivable because of some historical story about the need for Black men to defend their women. It's forgivable because sometimes a person does one stupid thing, and that should not erase their numerous other accomplishments and qualities. But being forgivable does not make it justifiable, for all the reasons you give here.