On further reflection, I think the word hetero-supremacist is inaccurate, even if I wasn’t against the general principle of shaming people for speaking the way they’ve always spoken. Most white supremacists don’t want to exterminate other races, because you can’t really be a supremacist unless there is someone you can be supreme over. They want to keep other races around and in their place so they can be used for race-appropriate menial tasks.. No homophobe wants to do that. They are equally annoyed by both gay hairdressers and gay lawyers.

Secondly, I grew up in America in the 1950s. At that time, being racist was frowned upon by those of us who lived in the North, but being homophobic was considered just part of being normal. I can tell you from firsthand experience that the fundamental emotion that motivates homophobia is indeed fear: The fear that you might be gay yourself, or seem to be gay if you are not.

When I was a teenager, I was deeply homophobic because I wanted to be a ballet dancer, and I hated gay dancers for making everyone think that I might be gay (including my ballet teacher, who was Russian and thought most American dancers were gay.) I am ashamed of that now, and deeply regret some of the things I did and thought. But I know first hand that the fundamental motivation of my hatred was fear. If you want to see this dynamic dramatized, see the play or movie the Boys in the Band.