Scarlett Johansson: The Sex symbol of the Post AIDS era

Sleep with her, trouble ensues. Restrain yourself, Happy Ending.

Teed Rockwell
3 min readApr 23


If you want to have someone take a risk which is stupid and/or morally dangerous, everyone will understand why the hero did it if she is the bait. Most of her movies capitalize on the fact that she seems too luscious to resist, but too good to be true. (Note: I haven’t actually seen all of these movies, but the plot points are obvious from the Wikipedia summaries.)

1998 The Horse Whisperer She’s fourteen years old, and missing a leg. Even the poor little tyke playing Robert Redford’s son gets shut down when he tries to make courtly conversation.

2001 The Man Who Wasn’t There After oral sex while driving, she and the protagonist almost die in a car crash.

2001 Ghost World one of the few almost happy moments occurs because of a romance which is destroyed when the Guy becomes interested in — SJ of course.

2002 Eight Legged Freaks There’s no mention of this in the Wikipedia summary, but I’m sure there must be a scene where someone makes out with SJ, then gets eaten by spiders as punishment.

2003 Lost in Translation Bill Murray has a wife back home, heroically doesn’t follow through on his flirtation with SJ, and remains a friendly father figure. Happy Ending

2003 Girl with a Pearl Earring. If you do, you’ll be every bit as skuzzy as Tom Wilkinson. (Even if you’re Colin Firth)

2004 A Love Song for Bobby Long Both central characters get their lives together by refusing to sleep with her and becoming her friend and mentor

2004 A Good Woman SJ leaves her husband because somebody lied to her about an affair.

2004 In Good Company SJ is his employee’s daughter. He does, and trouble ensues.

2005 Match Point He walks away from a marriage with a rich beautiful woman who will guarantee his future, and ends up murdering SJ.

2005 The Island She’s a clone

2006 Scoop Woody Allen finally realizes he’s too old for SJ, and casts himself as her grandfather. Happy Ending.

2006 The Black Dahlia Policeman sleeps with SJ, discovers that she is accessory to a bank robbery, and he has thus compromised his ability to investigate the case.



Teed Rockwell

I am White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Male Heterosexual cisgendered over-educated able-bodied affluent and thin. Hope to learn from those living on the margins.