This is the only thing that matters. Your wife deserves to be called what she wants to be called and so does AOC. I will continue to call her that in my writings until she publically says she doesn't want us to use the initials. I think she chooses to use the intitals for the same reason that FDR, LBJ, JFK, and TR choose those initials: Because even a full length American name has less chance of getting into a Headline as often. If you shame the use of AOC, you will damage her brand, as well as provide straw to help build the strawman that the Left is a group of unreasonably strict grade school teachers.

One other point I don't think you have thought through enough: calling a POC by their first name is one way of belittling them and dehumanizing them. This is one reason that even in this era of universal first name use, I always refer to a person of color as Mr. Ms. or Dr. until I have been given permission to use their last name. (Which they usually give me immediately)